I feel like a horrible mother.

I just have to get this off of my chest.

I know what I did was not on purpose, but it makes me so sad.

Yesterday Zoey was acting up all day... I was a bit annoyed with it. Last night I was going outside, and she tried following me... but I did not want to let her out because she had been going in and out all night and letting all of the flies in with her.

Tomorrow if the start of my future.

I know that must sounds horribly cliche... but it really is true.

Tomorrow I start school, it is going to be a true test of whether or not I am cut out to be an educated individual! Kidding... of course... I have always known I would be some sort of professional.

So... wish me luck. For real!

My future starts tomorrow, and I cant wait to help provide for my family.

~Nina

Damn... 2 pages in and...

I am hooked.

Jodi Picoult did it again. I started reading Perfect Match about five minutes ago and I am already hooked. The sad part is I have only read the prologue and the first two pages of the book. 

Talk about good writing.

Kind of nervous...

So I have written ( and bitched ) about my starting school. Well now that it is only a handful of days away I am really getting nervous. I used to pride myself as a student, and after dropping out of two different colleges over the last two years, I am questioning my ability to do this... seriously.

In high school I was an excellent student, and when I got pregnant during my senior year it really made me hate school. I ditched 50% of the time and I am very surprised I graduated.

I absolutely love learning, and that side of me is terribly excited to start school.

This really sucks!

So I did some re designing here... and it jacked everything up.

Long story short I had to cancel the old blog, and import all my posts here. I have lost all comments and followers.

Some love would be great!

I also think it might have something to do with IntenseDebate, and while I loved it I wont be using it anymore.

*sigh*

~nina

I would love your votes...PLEASE

I designed a T-shirt/Onesie over at the Fibers.com contest.

I would love your votes, oh so very much!

So please, go here and check out my design.

If you like it, please register and vote for me!

Thank you so very much!!!

I hate days like this.

Being home all day with nobody to interact with but my 17 month old is hard. I mean I live with my in-laws, but it is not the same talking to them. They are my "elders" and I want to respect them. I do not feel like I can bullshit with them.

I just need to get into something social. When I start school I feel like there is a small chance I will make a friend to hang out with, or just in the very least exchange a few texts with when I am bored.

I am also extremely anxious... soon I will hopefully get my own place, finally! I have been living with parents (not always my own) my whole life. I feel it is about time for my life to begin as an adult.

For gods sake I am approaching my 1st marriage anniversary on June 13th and my daughter is already a year and a half. Somebody buy me a house already.

From the mouth of my husband...

"I just want to walk around the house in my underwear, and go to the bathroom with the door open and do that whenever I want."

Amen to that Bry!

~nina

I think I need to stop watching T.V.

I am seriously the biggest sucker.

Every time I get deeply involved in a show I get terribly emotional when something traumatic happens. The reason I bring this up is because I watched the newest episode of House today and it just seemed to fuck me up emotionally.

Never before have I seen an episode of House where the patient does not get properly diagnosed and saved... but I guess that is just what happens, they needed to spice it up a little bit. 

They could have chosen to spice it up differently though, I mean this lady was trapped under rubble of a collapsed building... they had to amputate her leg without anesthesia and then she dies with her husband in the ambulance. Oh yeah... and it was her husbands birthday.

The only good part of the episode is when House and Cutty (or however you spell the hot boss lady doctors name) confess their love for each other and makeout. Hot and heavy stuff.

But does love have to die for love to begin?

This is why I need to stop watching T.V.

And do not even get me started on how bad the LOST season finale jacked with my emotions. That is a blog post that probably will never happen.

~nina

Text book prices kill me!

I think I am regretting the Sociology class... it has 5 text books that are required. Not to mention they are extremely expensive. That is not even my only class... and my grant does not cover my summer semester.

Oh joy.

I think those prices are the reason I have been having a horrible headache today.

I think the one that kills me the most is a 5 page booklet that is $21. Oh, and I cannot find it anywhere online so I have the buy it on the campus book store.

My class starts in 6 days so I feel like I am scrambling to get all of my psycho ducks in a row.

It will all be worth it one day when I am a RN! I will tell myself that until the day I graduate.

~nina

I've been dying...

I am usually an avid reader...but lately I have been slacking. The last book I read was Buried Alive... the scary yet true story of Roy Hallums being a captive of war. And that book literally scared me shitless.

I need some book recommendations because I want to start immersing myself in great books again. 

I really miss it.

Can you help me?

~nina

My head hurts... and I am tired of it!

Lately I have been getting these god damn headaches at least once a day. And by "at least once a day" I mean this: some days I might wake up with a headache, and it will go away. Then by 3:00 I have another headache... what the hell is up with that?

I have been to a list of doctors ten sheets long just to be prescribed different medicines that do one of two things:

1. Make my headaches worse (if that were even possible) along with nausea and vomiting.
2. Do not do a damn thing.

Why is it I am stuck with this pain? Why cant these doctors figure out what is wrong with me? And why do I feel like they are sticking me with the most common type of migraine medicines because it is the closest thing to "one size fits all" that headache medicine can possibly be?

I know I can make it through, but it really makes chasing after a 17 month old hard.

Damn the doctors who try to fit me in a size 2 medicine bracket when I am a damn 16!

~nina

Hard... hard day.

Today I have been super lethargic... everything is just dragging on and on. I really do not think it helps that Zoey's sleep patterns are all jacked up.

Last night Zo refused to go to bed at her normal time, which is anywhere from 8:30-9PM. She did not fall asleep until 10:30-11 at least. So I figured she would sleep in longer because she did not go to bed as early as she normally does.

(When Zo goes to bed at her normal time, she does not usually wake up until 9:30 the next morning.)

Well I was wrong... she decided to wake up at 7:30 this morning and I am completely exhausted...I tried napping when she napped but that just jacked up my system more. This just makes me laugh because people always told me... "When you are tired and you have a baby... always nap when they nap." Yeah well suck it that does not work for me... it makes me even more tired and I hate that damn advice!

So now it is almost 8:30 and I am exhausted... still.

How the hell am I going to stay awake for LOST tonight? I do not want to go to bed at 9 like an old person.

~nina

Evil Emotions.

Have you ever felt like you've been stabbed in the heart? But it is your fault?

Yeah...

That is how I feel right now.

~nina

The most frustrating... stressful... out of control day EVER

Last night I started working hard on a new web idea... which I cannot disclose to anybody right now. Things got all screwy and now I am in the middle of fixing all of the mistakes I made. Thanks to a great friend (Rhea) for providing me with such great hosting support.

But I have decided  move my original blog back to wordpress... I decided to try squarespace but I honestly feel I am better off on wordpress and the hosting cost for squarespace is completely out of the question. I can have 3 websites online for not even half the price of squarespace... oops did I just let a hint out? My bad.

I am having a really hard time converting back everything squarespace had me change. I will figure it out eventually. You know.. once I hear back from customer service.

*sigh*

This day has been so stressful. I just need things to go back to normal. And I need everything to be working properly. Oh fun!

~Nina

Your customer service ROCKS dude!

Today Bryan and I went to the bank to clear up some issues with our account... and we had to "be helped" by the worst teller I have ever dealt with in my history of bank customer service. 

I knew from the moment we walked in that he was rude... a poor old lady walked up to his window first and you could just tell by the smirk on his face he was annoyed with everybody.

Well deal with it, you ass it is your job. I hated being nice to customers when I worked at Best Buy but you know what? I sucked it up... and customers at Best Buy are way worse than the customers at the bank!

Let me just tell you... I was not happy at all when we had to go to his window.

He was so short (not his height, LOL) and he acted like he did not give a crap about anything we needed! I am not the kind of person that deals with horrendous customer service well. He is lucky I do not like to make scenes in public.

We were told to go into the branch to change Bryans pin, and so that is what we did. And he could not have given us more attitude over a SMALL pin change that took him not even a minute! What the hell is that?

After that I tried asking him why my my new card has not came in yet he decided to talk over me and yell to someone leaving and talk about how he is graduating from college next week...well good, I hope you quit because I do not want to deal with you anymore.

When he was done chatting it up with his little boy toy friend I asked him my question again and he just said "You will need to talk to a personal banker about that". 

Well thanks... there are like 10 people in line already. And I bet you told all of them to go wait there because you do not feel like dealing with anything but deposits... you are probably pocketing money aren't you jerk?

We were so done with him we went outside to the ATM to deposit our money. It is probably safer that way anyways.

I hate rude people.

It really feels great...

I have been actually blogging for about 7 months, my first blog is still going strong and I love it to death but I really feel like it lost its personal feel... I love reviewing products and hosting giveaways but I have been needing to just step aside and be me... separately. 

This is why I started NinaSay.com... how much more personal can it get? The damn URL is my name! Fuck!

That is another thing I am looking forward to on this blog... I honestly do not need to keep the level of professionalism here that I do over at TOF. I can bitch and moan about anything I want and not have to worry about the PR rep I am working with to see it and get offended.

I need to be ME and feel free. And I already feel the great release of captivity. I now have two venues I am pursuing... the professional one and this one.. the "all hell is about to break loose and all of you better run for cover because this chick is crazy" venue.

Prepare yourself. :)

~Nina

My new blog!

I have finally decided to start a new blog... 100% different from The One Fantastical. This will purely be MY blog.. life...my feelings... everything.

Most likely there will be ZERO reviews or giveaways!

I just want it to be up close and personal, as much as it can be!

I hope you all will join me!

~Nina